I don’t make new years resolutions and I am definitely not one of those ‘New Year New Me” people because I think I am pretty fabulous already. Sadly, I am not perfect, whatever that is, so every year I just try to work harder than the year before. At the end of the year I want to look back and think, wow I did good and next year I will do better.
We have all seen those memes encouraging us to “do what’s best for you” “self care is ok” “live your best life” “Let go of negativity” etc etc. I think you see where I am going with this. We share them on social media and use hashtags like #THIS #YAAAASSSSSSS and #TRUTH But how many of us actually action these statements? We agree with them but do we do anything about it?
Things changed for me just over two years ago and I truly believe I will never go back to putting myself and my feelings last ever again. I had a pretty tough year at work, in my personal and private life and I and went through a breakup with an ex-boyfriend. The end of the year was fast approaching and Christmas was just a few weeks away and the thought of being bored and cold in the UK made me feel sick. I just COULDN’T STAY HERE!
Earlier that year my Grandad had come over from St Kitts (Caribbean Island) to visit and celebrate his 80th birthday with us. He kept reminding me that I have a home in St Kitts and nothing would make him happier than visitors especially over Christmas. This kept playing on my mind so I called my Grandad a few weeks before Christmas and asked if I could come and visit for two weeks over the festive period. The delight and lift in his voice said it all. He was so happy and excited even though he didn’t believe I would really come.
Fast forward 2 weeks and after a 10 hour flight I landed in St Kitts for the first time in over 20 years. I actually shed tears when the plane landed because I felt like I was home. This tiny little island is where my grandparents are from and where my heritage comes from. There are so many stories and so much history in this little bit of heaven, I was excited!
I came out of the tiny airport to find my Grandad and his neighbour waiting for me. I’ll never forget how excited he was to see me . This was the start of one of the best experiences of my life. I LIVED MY BEST ISLAND LIFE and discovered a new version of myself, ISLAND GIRL! I won’t bore you with millions of pictures or a holiday diary but you can take a look here, here and here to see what I got up to.
The Main Man, Grandad AKA Man Like Wilf (he doesn’t know I refer to him as this so don’t tell him or ever call him Wilf)
When I told my family I was going to St Kitts solo for Christmas and New Year they didn’t really believe me. My mom didn’t think I would leave our family and go alone, but I did and it was the best holiday decision I’ve ever made. I knew my family would be fine without me because this is what I needed to do for me. I just had to get away and have a change of scenery.
I didn’t know what to expect and I had no idea I would have so much fun, explore so much and just truly DO ME! I ended up staying in St Kitts for two and a half weeks and during that time I forgot about work, repaired my broken heart and truly let go of EVERYTHING negative! I was Island Zen and it felt nice not worrying about anything.
Still one of my favourite photographs of me in St Kitts
During this trip I was able to think about what I want to do, what I want from life and set a few goals for the year ahead. The most important lesson was learning to put myself first and let go of things that were holding me back.
I’ve been back to St Kitts 3 times since that first trip (as an adult) and every experience teaches me something new about myself. But the best part is, I get a much needed dose of Island Life.
My most recent trip was totally different because late last year I quit my job. I realised I was unhappy and the environment was really bringing me down. This isn’t good for anyone, so I was super brave, took control and I dropped myself out of the situation. The timing was perfect because I was able to extend my trip to St Kitts and I truly LIVED MY BEST LIFE (again).
Living my best life…
For 3 glorious weeks, I slept, I rested, I watched loads of Netflix, ate well, drank rum cocktails and stayed on the beach until sunset. I was happy, free and revitalised.
I miss the food and rum cocoktails…
I reflected a lot on this trip and I discovered a few things that will help me live my best life in London too:
- I understand the importance of not having expectations of others. Sounds pretty basic but I have stopped expecting people to do things for me, just because I would do the same for them. Just because somebody doesn’t do what you want them to do it doesn’t mean they are a bad person they are just different and that’s ok.
- I have let go of the little things, they don’t bother me as much anymore. I can’t get stressed over things I can’t control.
- I will unapologetically continue to put myself first. Of course I will not go out of my way to hurt anyone but I have feelings and I matter too.
- If I don’t want to do something, please believe I AM NOT DOING IT! It’s ok to say NO sometimes.
- I will continue to protect my mind, body and soul from negative energy and things that make me unhappy. Being sad is just not me!
As much as I would love to spend 2018 on the beach being island and free I have a life in London and I need start my new career as a Freelance PR person.
I am stepping into the unknown and trying something totally alien to me. For the last 10 years I have always worked for big companies and worked in an office Monday- Friday but now it’s all about me. What I want, who I want to work with and on my time. While it’s scary having to actively go out and find clients and chase those coins, if not now, when? If I don’t try now I will always wonder what would have happened if I trusted my experience, my contacts and above all my ability to be brave.
It’s only been a few days and yes it feels weird not going to the office and working on my own at home is different but, I feel so happy and I still have my Island Zen!
I love staying on the beach to watch the sunset
Happy New Year
Love Dom Dominique xx